


The Face That Launched a Thousand Letters

by sapphose



Series: Sisters of Sparta [1]
Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
Genre: Epistolary Format, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24746347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphose/pseuds/sapphose
Summary: Messages sent to, from, and in the royal house of Sparta while everyone waits for Helen's husband to be selected
Relationships: Agamemnon/Clytemnestra (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Clytemnestra & Helen of Troy (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Helen of Troy/Menelaus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Odysseus/Penelope (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)
Series: Sisters of Sparta [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864660
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Clytemnestra

Dear Helen,

Perhaps it is silly to write to you when I could just as easily walk to your chamber. But words don’t come to me as naturally as they do for you. I need the time to think.

You asked me if I have been avoiding you. The truthful answer is yes. I am not happy with you, Helen, although it isn’t your fault.

I simply thought… that some of the men might have come for me.

Castor thinks it’s because you’re older. Are you older, Helen? I think about it and I can’t recall. We are close enough in age that I hardly think a few minutes would matter.

Pollux thinks it’s because of the old tales, the stories of divine parentage. I always found it cruel that of all the rumors that circulated- that you or Pollux and Castor are Zeus’s children- no one ever thought to question my father. Am I so unlikely to be a god’s daughter?

I think we must believe our visitors when they tell us why they come. It is because you are supposed to be the most beautiful woman in Greece, and I am not.

Sometimes I think there will be no men left in Greece because of you.

I just need time, Helen. Please let me have that.

Love,

Clytemnestra


	2. Odysseus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odysseus admits to Helen why he came

Fair Helen, worthy princess of Sparta, credit to her father’s name,

It would take a greater hand than mine to give adequate praise to your grace, charm, and beauty. You have welcomed be into your house, and I am grateful. But I must admit I have trespassed on your kindness under false pretenses.

I do not come to seek your hand. I wish to woo your cousin, virtuous Penelope. I thought a word from your father might strengthen my case with his niece, and that a word from you might strengthen my case with your father.

Forgive my subterfuge. I will understand if you are angered.

-Odysseus

Noble Odysseus,

You will forgive me my own discourteous moment if I admit that I am rather relieved than angered. You know as well as I that there are too many of you.

I will speak with my father.

-Helen, fair or no

Helen, fair indeed,

You have all the thanks I can offer, and more besides.

Take care, worthy lady. I fear that the anger of these men will not end well for you. They were unhappy to hear you will accept all the gifts.

-Odysseus

Odysseus,

It seems they are not yet unhappy enough to leave.

-Helen


	3. Agamemnon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Clytemnestra's surprise, someone writes to her

To the lady Clytemnestra,

I did not express myself well today, and I beg your leave to try again.

I know you will carry no message to Helen. To do so would be unfair. I will admit I asked you for a word alone only for the pleasure of your company.

If you find me too forward, you needn’t write back. But I wished to make my intentions clear.

Your loyal servant,  
Agamemnon

To the lord Agamemnon,

You are no servant of mine, though it is kind of you to say. Will you walk with me?

From a forward maiden,  
Clytemnestra

To the incomparable Lady Clytemnestra,

I betray myself by writing this, proving my own pen a liar. But I will ask you to bear one message to Helen. The suitors were angered by her declaration that she would accept no gifts. They are accustomed to getting their way. I fear for your sister’s safety, and that of the man she chooses.

May I accompany you on another walk?

Your loyal servant,  
Agamemnon


	4. Getting Rid of Unwanted Suitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castor and Pollux offer their sister advice

_For Helen_

**How to Get Rid of Unwanted Suitors**

By Castor and Pollux

  1. Ask cousin Idas to eat them

  2. Put a sleeping drug in the wine, load them all into a ship, and cast it off into the sea

  3. Shave off all their beards while they sleep and blame it on evil spirits

  4. Declare war on all their nations

  5. Pray and make a sacrifice (possibly Clytemnestra)

  6. Scare them off

    1. Eat only garlic and fish

    2. Speak only in riddles and curses

    3. Roll around in the pigsty

    4. Let Castor cut your hair




We’ve asked Clytemnestra to give this list to you, so perhaps she’ll add some ideas of her own.

**How NOT to Get Rid of Unwanted Suitors**

By Clytemnestra

  1. Do not ask cousin Idas to eat them. Their families will be upset, and so will Idas’ stomach.

  2. Do not set them all to sea. The wind might just blow them back to our shore.

  3. Do not shave off their beards. They will not leave. They will behave exactly the same way they did before, albeit while clean-shaven.

  4. Do not declare war on all their nations. This one is self-explanatory.

  5. If you are going to make a sacrifice, make it an animal, not one of your siblings.

  6. Do not try to scare them off. No matter what you try, it will not work in making you less beautiful.

    1. Castor and Pollux laugh at me when I say this. “ _It’s not as if she’s a statue!_ ”

    2. But you and I both know the power of stories, Helen.

    3. They came to seek the hand of the most beautiful woman in Greece.

    4. They are powerless to find you otherwise.




I have only one suggestion for getting rid of them, and you won’t like it. It’s to make your choice.

Your loving sister,

Clytemnestra


	5. Menelaus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Menelaus takes matters into his own hands

Helen,

I have given up on writing a good introduction or greeting to this letter. I am going to seem a fool regardless of what I write, so I will delve straight into the heart of the matter and embrace my foolishness.

Perhaps the most foolish thing is to ask Agamemnon to speak for me, and then write a letter on my own behalf. But it was cowardly of me to send him, and I want to be brave.

I asked Agamemnon to go in my stead because I was afraid you wouldn’t remember me. It was years ago, after all. Your father’s support was instrumental in restoring Agamemnon to his rightful place on the throne of Mycenae- but just because it was a turning point in my life doesn’t mean it was more than an unmemorable interlude in yours. I said that I loved you, and you told me you would wait for me. But maybe you have said that to other men since. It would be a good deal to ask that you hold on to a foolish childhood promise made to a boy who washed up in your court after being exiled by civil war.

Worse than forgetting would be regretting. Perhaps you remember me well, with a grimace and a sigh, praying I will never show up and attempt to force you to keep your promise. Perhaps you have lain awake at night cursing yourself for ever saying such a thing.

Perhaps I worry too much, is what Agamemnon would say.

If you have forgotten me or regret me or simply don’t care, I won’t mind. I’ll wish you joy with whoever you marry.

There’s no way to end this letter, either. I’ve made a very poor attempt to woo, but you must at least allow that I have been honest.

Yours truthfully,

Menelaus

Menelaus,

You have been very unkind to me, I think. I would never wish to marry a woman as cruel as the one you imagine me to be.

I asked Castor and Pollux if the one would trust the other to woo for him. Both laughed outright. Whether this reflects well on you and your brother, or poorly on mine, I cannot say.

To answer your first unasked question, I do remember you. I also remember that you promised to write, and did not. Perhaps my memory is better than yours.

You haven’t seen me in years, Menelaus. What if I am not as beautiful as you remember? Would you still want to marry me then? Or have you asked Agamemnon to write a report of how he finds me?

Yours well-remembered,

Helen

Helen,

I can quickly put to rest the thought that Agamemnon reports anything useful. I asked him not to write to me of you at all if he suspected your indifference. Since his letter contained one brief line that he had safely arrived and then two pages on Clytemnestra, I feared the worst. I have since realized that he wrote more for himself than for me.

Perhaps you are not as beautiful as I remember. But your wit is as sharp, your mind as clear, and (obviously) your memory as strong. I think those are fine qualities to be admired as much as one’s appearance.

You are correct. I swore to write. I tried to. Yet when I put pen to paper, all my words seemed inadequate. Nothing I wrote seemed worthy of your attention, and the things that did I hardly knew how to tell.

I already said I was a coward. Maybe I worried that if I wrote to you, you would take the opportunity to change your mind.

You responded to my first unasked question, but not my second. Do you regret what you said?

I know that you are beset on all sides. I pray you receive my letter before you make your choice. I will wait with bridled horse for your reply.

Yours penitently,

Menelaus

Menelaus,

To answer your question, no.

Now you have a third unasked question, but I will answer it. You should come. Let me hear your honesty and your penitence and whatever else you will bring in your own voice.

There was a quarrel among my honored visitors, who seem to have forgotten how a guest must behave in their host’s house. One tried to stab another. I have made them each swear a solemn vow that they will stand and protect all the others if any one tries to press his claim unduly. Either they shall stay sane and civil until you arrive, or they will all kill each other. Your brother Agamemnon excepted, I would not very much mind. He is excluded only because of his kindness to Clytemnestra; if his attentions waver, I consign him to the same fate as the rest.

Yours in wait,

Helen

Helen,

You will not have to wait long.

Yours soon,

Menelaus


	6. You Are Cordially Invited...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sisters write to their brothers before the Argo sails

Dear Castor and Pollux,

This letter is full of love. Mostly mine, but also Helen’s (even if she won’t admit it), and Menelaus and Agamemnon’s. They’re now your brothers, after all!

I don’t know what counsel is best suited to your situation, but there are some pieces of advice I know will never go amiss. Eat well and sleep often. Make sure you have clean socks. Above all, if you are tempted to play a prank, _don’_ _t._ We’re lucky you didn’t bring Sparta to the brink of war with a dozen other nations while Helen’s suitors were here.

You are doing a noble thing, helping Jason on his quest for the golden fleece. I hope you find the glory and honor you seek, but just as much I hope you come home, safe and soon.

Your loving sister,

Clytemnestra

Dear Castor and Pollux,

I hope you are enjoying your travels across the seas in search of a glittering sheep. It must be a very special kind of wool indeed that is worth missing your sisters’ weddings. One, perhaps, might be forgiven. But two is nearly inexcusable. And I fear that soon it will be three, for Odysseus has officially asked for the hand of cousin Penelope. It appears that marriage is catching. Perhaps that is why you left so swiftly, in order to avoid this sickness of ours. If that is the case, and one day you do marry, I will be sure to attend and cheer loudly, purely out of spite.

You may tell Jason that if this is not a harrowing journey of adventure, danger, magic, and intrigue, I will never forgive you.

It goes without saying that you had also better survive it.

Your newly married sister,

Helen


End file.
